What I Can't Say, I'll Show
by Swiss Army Knife
Summary: Eight times Caleb turns into a cat to love on his people.


**Chapter Summary:** The first time Caleb turns into a cat, he's alone in his room. Well, almost alone.

Author's Note: One of the most important aspects of polymorph is that, while it changes your shape, it also transforms your mind, limiting your breadth of understanding and emotional expression to that of your given form. Thus, transform into a moth and you end up eating curtains. This has wild ramifications for a cerebral, anxious person like Caleb, and Liam has already commented on Caleb being profoundly affected by the freedom of his eagle form. Which got me to thinking, what impact might Caleb's new shapeshifting affinity have on his relationships with the Nein? We've already seen him love-pecking Nott and ape-hugging Beauregard, so when exactly are we going to get the ultimate expression of this? Cat-leb, anyone?

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WHAT I CAN'T SAY, I'LL SHOW  
Swiss Army Knife

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**Chapter One: Frumpkin  
**Escape from Myself

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The first time he did it, he was in his own room in the Xhorhaus. Alone, because what he was doing was absurd, even by Mighty Nein standards, and he didn't want to explain his reasoning, even to his friends. His true reason was, after all, just a little too vulnerable, a little too wrapped up in childhood and woundedness and whimsey, and those things were too complex for anything but the most intimate of settings. Thus, he was alone, sitting on his bed, turning the transmuter's stone over and over in his hands while second guesses played through his mind.

"You're being timid," he murmured to himself. "Just do it."

Thus resolved, he took a deep breath, traced the air, and murmured the words.

There was a rush of displaced air, a strangeness of bones displacing, snapping, and reshaping. Skin stretched, then erupted with fur: long, pale, and tawny. In his mouth, his teeth turned needle sharp, and as his tongue ran over his lips, it was pleasantly rough. Long fingers tucked in, and soft pads grew in their places. Caleb blinked, and the world was new-colored, a spiral of smells that superseded sound or even sight. Transformation complete, he sat down on his haunches, twitched his ears and tail, and felt the world anew.

He was small and alert, but not afraid. Caleb lifted a paw. Aside from selecting the species, he hadn't specified appearance, and his coat – not surprisingly – had come out similar to his own hair. His paw pads were pink, as was his delicate nose. He turned around to try and see his tail, but the movement of its tip – so feathery and quick! – distracted him, and he made an awkward sideways movement to try and catch it in his paws, which almost sent him toppling to the floor.

Recovering, Caleb gave himself a shake and set about exploring the bed. It yielded under his paws, but he felt confident, his balance sure. Was this how Beauregard felt all the time? He was even more delighted to find his coat flung across the blankets. And this coat! It was wonderful! It smelled like him, and it was soft and purple. He turned in circles, intent on curling up, perhaps having a nap, but when he did so, a silver bell rolled out of one pocket and fell off the bed. It's silvery tinkling made Caleb's heart beat wildly, and before he realized what he was doing, he was on the ground, grabbing it between his paws and rolling onto his back, eyes dilating with pleasure.

He might have continued to bat around the silver bell for some time, but an unexpected sound made his hair stand on end. He stood, fur bristling, as another creature emerged from beneath the bed. Before he could decide whether to fight or flee, however, he recognized the trespasser.

Frumpkin.

His fey familiar, wrapped in the guise of a Bengal cat, chirped at him. It was a sound Caleb had heard hundreds of times, but it had a different quality now. It wasn't language. There were no words. Yet there _was _feeling, and it was a feeling that, in his feline form, Caleb interpreted differently. His tail shivering with excitement, he bounded forward, and from his chest came a trill – a sound of pleasure so deep it vibrated between his ribs and in his chest and out his throat. You're here! I'm glad!

He rubbed his mouth against Frumpkin's, and the sense of _good smell-safe-home_ became even more distinct. The vibration in his chest deepened, and his back arched involuntarily. Frumpkin eyes seemed to laugh at him. He rolled Caleb onto his back, and they grappled playfully, shadow boxing and kicking with their hind legs until all their energy ran out and they settled, tangled up in a knot of short and long ginger fur.

Caleb pressed his face into Frumpkin's shoulder as his world narrowed to a pinpoint: warm belly, kneading paws, Frumpkin. There was no tomorrow, not properly, not as cat-Caleb. No complicated political scene or unknown dangers. His only preoccupations were food and heat and shadows to chase, and none of those were urgent.

Maybe that was why Frumpkin liked this form best of all. Eagle had made Caleb feel fast and untouchable, like no one could reach him. Ape had made him feel powerful, with weaponized fists. Spider had supernatural senses. Even Bat had its advantages. He'd been stupid, yes, but life had been small – too small for things like Trent Ikithon and continent-sprawling wars to fit inside it.

But Cat. Cat was best.

Small, like Bat, but familiar and natural, like his skin fit just right – as right or maybe even righter than his human skin. Of course, Cat couldn't do the things Caleb could do. Fireballs to protect his family. Magic dens and clever fingers to identify things that made them safe and strong. They needed the Wizard to do that.

But maybe not right now?

Caleb lifted his head…and a paw pressed him down. Frumpkin began rasping his ear with long, soothing strokes of his warm tongue, protecting him in this immediate way, so that all the anxiety, fear, and worry died back down. And for the next thirty-two minutes, everything was soft and quiet and full of rumbles. And it was good.

_That_ was the first time Caleb turned into a cat.

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**Next Chapter:** Nott has been preoccupied lately. _Human _Caleb understands, but cats are selfish by nature.

Author's Note: So, here it is! The first chapter of my little Cat-leb story. This is very light, just so you know. It's a soft story, though it does touch on the internal struggle of the Mighty Nein after they lose Yasha to Obann. Most chapters are on the short side, not more than five pages, but they each let me play with a dynamic that goes unspoken between Caleb and his friends, things I'd like to see played out in series. Please let me know what you think of each 'what if' scenario!


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